5 Things to Avoid When Studying with Children
Studying can be quite a disruption to our everyday routines. All of a sudden mum isn’t available for every single minute of the day. The hunt for those socks or that favourite toy or cup can be quite distressing for some family members. If you have taken some time out to pursue your future new and improved self. See the following 5 things you should avoid doing whilst being a study mum:
While it’s a good thing to strive for perfection in a certain job or task, this idea has to stop there. Us mere mortals were never meant to be perfect, and you are allowed to trip up every now and then. There is a natural pull to want to get it all perfect and preferably the first time around.
WHAT TO DO!
- Accept the fact that you are not perfect. No one is! The result of accepting this fact will lead to a lot more happiness and most likely more productivity.
- Every time you don’t feel like the perfect domestic goddess, the perfect mother or wife or the perfect A+ student, remember it’s OK not to be great at everything all the time. Who is?
- Try to live in the present moment. That’s the closest thing to perfection. Focus on what you’re doing, in your case on your studies. Don’t worry about the past or the future anymore, just be here right NOW!
2. Getting Overwhelmed.
When you first enrol to study there is much excitement. However, it is also a lot to take in and manage correctly from the get go. All those family responsibilities and the weight of your study work load might get you down at first. The solution here is to take it step by step and focus on short term goals. You may find that you have simply bitten off more than you can chew. Scaling your study load back in the beginning until you find your groove is highly recommended.
WHAT TO DO!
· Find that spare hour when ever you can and make the most of it.
· Tackle your course material in bite size chunks. Get used to studying slowly it’s a big transition. It doesn’t take long to find a time slot or rhythm if you’re consistent with your study time.
· Ask family members to help you by not disturbing you whilst you take time out to study. If this is difficult in the beginning bare with them and help them get used to it by being consistent especially if you have little ones. It is a big change for you and your family. Persisting with boundaries is key here. Doing it in a loving and patient way will make studying a positive experience for the whole family.
· Set small goals each day. Knowing exactly what you have to do will eliminate the anxiety of it all. Once you’ve reached those small goals, you will also feel happier with your progress.
The only time when frustration can be a good thing is when it motivates you to change something in your life. Otherwise, frustration is mostly destructive. It can block you from achieving that goal you’re so frustrated about in the first place. You might feel like you’re never going to finish your studies, keep up with life in general and claim that mother of the year award. Breathe.
WHAT TO DO!
- Release that frustration and anxiety and just focus on each day and task you have ahead. Small steps will lead to success. That is why setting daily goals helps.
- Try to ignore that buzzing thought that you can’t do it. Or if it becomes overwhelming, let it be and do something else to take your mind off of it.
- Try to exercise, finally clean the house or spend quality time with your kids. As soon as you accept the feelings your having and give them time to pass you can resume studying just like before.
- Create small achievements they will encourage you along the path you’ve chosen. It can be done and you don’t have to be alone. You will always find support and encouragement in our Study Mum community. You will feel encouraged and supported by other mums out there. They all have their struggles, but it’s the ability to overcome those tough moments that will make you successful in your mission.
It sounds a little corny when you hear it the first time but I’m gonna go ahead and say it anyway “There is no such thing as failure, only feedback”.
WHAT TO DO!
- Believe this to be 100% true. So you took on too many units of study and you didn’t pass one. Failure? Hell No! Failing is when you don’t even try.
- Learn what your limitations are. You made a judgement to enrol in 3 or 4 units and your information or assessment of what you could handle was a little off. Well done you! you passed the other two that’s a feat in itself.
- Pick yourself back up Mama and dust yourself off there is a course qualification or degree waiting for you. By the way this attitude is great to adopt to show your kids exactly what your made of and that they can do the same.
It’s all about boundaries and making the best of each second you spend doing something. You need your sleep to be able to take care of everyone and everything, right? The same goes for your intellectual needs. When you’re at peace and content, everyone will feel it and benefit from it.
WHAT TO DO!
- Understand that you’re not sacrificing one moment for another. The moment you’re spending time with your children and the moment you’re spending time investing in your future are separate moments. Enjoy them equally.
- Again set boundaries for your children and lets be honest and give the kids a break. We are also talking about husbands, mother in-laws and that friend that just has impeccable timing. Let them all know when they get to play with you and when they need to entertain themselves.
- Learn to enjoy each activity and appreciate it for what it is. This creates quality time. Quality time spent with your children/family/friends will mean so much more once you feel you are one step closer to your study goals too.
All of these 5 things will result in you teaching your children some very useful skills. Children learn their habits at home, by copying their parents, and you’ll be a great role model. Not to mention the fact that you will be able to focus better during your study time once everyone is on the same page. This will be a staggered success in the beginning and some days it just won’t work in your favour. Hang in there there’s always tomorrow.